When She Loved Me
by rocker4321
Summary: Based on the song "When She Loved Me" performed by Sarah McLachlan from the Toy Story 2 Soundtrack/Movie. Thor thinks about what has happened with her relationship with Loki, from childhood to adulthood. GENDERBENDERED, use of language. Author's note inside.


**AN- Hey my Fanfiction readers! This is rocker4321, and I had such a writers' inspiration. A couple of days ago I listened to the song "When She Loved Me" (performed by Sarah McLachlan) that was featured as part of the soundtrack from Toy Story 2. Now that I'm a new fan of the Thor universe, I listened to this song and I pictured a female version of Thor explaining to the audience about how "she" and Loki were very close, and then Loki became "her" enemy. This is a songfic, and even though I won't mention the lyrics, it goes along with the song. I recommend that you listen to the song; it brings a tear to my eye. This is also genderbendered, meaning Thor and Loki are females, so if you don't like it, don't read! And their mother isn't in most if the story, so it will make sense later. Thor's memories are in italics, and Thor's present thoughts are in plain text. Comments are well appreciated! I don't own the song or the Thor universe! I hope you enjoy the short story! :D**

Thor lay down in her bed, looking at the starry sky. Millions of tiny little stars seemed to flash like lights, signaling night has come down onto the Asguardian kingdom. She stared at them, for it was one of a few true comforts she had to this day. Thor envied the stars, knowing they had no problems, and seemed to be always happy. Thor was alright these days, but she missed her dear little sister, Loki.

Loki.

Loki was going down a terrible path, a path of mass destruction. She tried to rule Asguard, and rule Midguard. All because of Thor's stupid behaviors and Odin's hidden secrets and feelings about her. Before she and Loki became enemies, they were blood sisters, always together, always happy.

Thor looked up at the stars, and slowly, her brain started to turn its crank, and memories began to play like an old movie projector.

_At 5 years old, Thor was tackling Loki_ _in the training area. They were pretending to be in battle with one another, yet this was playful._

"_I win!" Thor was jumping up and down in joy and smiling down at Loki._

"_Oh please, everyone knows that I will be the next queen of Asguard!" Loki giggled as she got up slowly, and posed like a queen._

"_Not if I become queen first!" Thor tackled Loki to the mat again, and pinned her down. Loki pretended to struggle as Thor smiled. Oh how they could act like boys!_

_Frigga and Odin came into the room, smiling at their silly daughters._

"_Fighting over the throne again girls?" Frigga came to Thor and Loki, each giving them a hug._

'_Maybe..." Loki smirked, "But Thor tackled me first!"_

_Thor stuck her tongue out "You win again my dear little sister, for tattle-tailing on me!"_

_Odin, Frigga, and Loki laughed._

"_Well my loves, you must get ready for bed." Frigga said soothingly._

"_Nooooo! Can I have another battle with Loki one more time? Please? Another?" Thor whined and moaned in disgust._

_Odin laughed "Tomorrow you have all the time in the world to beat Loki up." Loki frowned as Thor poked Loki's side. Frigga laughed._

"_Seems to me our little girls will become warriors." Odin smiled as Frigga nodded. "But the best warriors go to bed early, so come on!" Frigga scooped Loki into her arms, as Odin picked up Thor. They headed to Loki and Thor's room, and a servant heated the girl's bath. Many bubbles and splashes later, the girls got dried and put on fresh nightgowns, and joined Frigga on Thor's bed as she held the girl's beloved storybook._

_Loki and Thor cuddled on each side of their mother as she began to read a funny Asguardian tale. Thor could smell her mother, for she smelled like warm vanilla and a soothing cinnamon. This always soothed the girls, and whenever they had a nightmare, they'd crawl into their parent's bed and always lay next to their mother, smelling her wonderful scents._

_As Frigga got up and put the treasured book back, she found Thor and Loki cuddled next to each other on the bed, sound asleep and peaceful. She decided to leave the girls alone, and as she gave them a goodnight kiss, she closed their chamber door and headed to the other side of the palace._

Oh how Thor awed at the memory! She missed their playful and cute moments, it wasn't believable how once upon a time, Loki was a good person. Her mind drifted off to when she had to comfort young Loki.

"_Come on Thor! You must try this Midguarian game! It's called Hopscotch!" Loki giggled, as she was five and Thor was six. _

_Thor sighed "Will this be fun?"_

"_Yes! I tried it and it's AWESOME! All you do is grab a small rock and throw it on a number, and you must get it without landing on two feet or landing on your butt." Loki explained, and Thor got the game's rules quickly._

_They set the game up and Loki demonstrated the game. 'What a stupid mortal game.' Thor thought as Loki was hopping like an idiot to get a stupid rock._

"_Yay I did it!" Loki clapped her hands together. "Now you try!"_

_Thor sighed as she took the rock from Loki's hand unenthusiastically. She lightly threw the rock onto the number 5, and she began to hop. 'This is stupid!' Thor thought silently in her pint sized head. She got the rock successfully and gave the rock back to Loki, in which she grinned._

"_Now is it fun?" Loki beamed._

_Thor looked at Loki "Yeah sure, let's play a few more times."  
_

_So the girls took turns, and sooner than she'd expected, Thor loved hopscotch. She didn't want to admit it, but Loki saw in her face that she loved it! Loki took a turn, but then she tripped, and hurt her knee. She began to cry._

"_WAAAAAAA! My knee hurts! Thoooooooor!" She cried out for her big sister, and she had a mean bruise._

_Thor rushed over to Loki "What happened Loki? Did you get hurt" She saw the bruise on Loki's knee. "Well it's not bleeding; want me to make it all better?"_

_Loki sniffled as she nodded "Yes please…" She said softly._

_Thor gave a kiss on Loki's knee, and she put a tiny green Band-Aid on her knee, even though it wasn't bleeding. It meant to Thor that it would heal with love. Thor gave Loki a hug "It will get all better sister, I know you will." Thor soothed._

"_Thanks Thor you are so sweet like Mommy!" Loki gave Thor a bear hug and Thor kissed Loki's forehead._

"_Now let's go and do something that won't hurt you." Thor smiled and hand and hand, the girls went off to play house._

Thor smiled as she was like a mother when Loki got hurt physically, but the death of their mother took a toll on the girls, especially Loki.

_When Thor and Loki were 7 and 6, respectively, their mother died of a fatal horse accident. Her mother was riding a horse when all of a sudden, the horse was startled by a loud noise and Frigga dropped about 100 feet down to the ground. The fall instantly killed her, and when Odin found out, he was devastated and heartbroken. First, he told Thor. She cried, but Odin told her it was ok to be sad, but to stay strong for Loki, since she was younger, and she was a big sister. Odin told Loki about their deceased mother and Loki was a terrible wreck._

"_Thor, I want mommy…' Loki cried, and hugged Thor tight._

_Thor winced and hugged Loki tight "I want her too, but she's in a better place where she's in no pain or sadness. One day we will all have to go there, but it will be happy there. For now, let's just make sure we give all of our attention and love to Mommy. That way, we can remember her with happiness and get rid of our sad feelings. Mommy would want that, and she knows that it will make us happy if we grieve and move on." _

"_Can I still remember her?" Loki said silently._

"_Of course! We want to remember the good times and not the bad. I think mommy would be proud of us for being such grown girls." Thor said, and hugged Loki tight. "And if you need anything, just talk to me because Daddy said I'm the woman of the house, and I need to watch over my little sister." Thor smiled and Loki hugged her tight._

_The funeral was a sad occasion, but the kingdom celebrated Frigga's life in a joyous manner. Both girls took time to grieve and then after a long time, they fully healed and moved on with their lives._

Thor was happy to be the big sister, because Loki was just so young and naïve. She still remembered Frigga by having candles that smelled like vanilla and cinnamon, and sometimes she swore Thor heard her voice or shadow, but it would go away quickly as it came.

_As Thor and Loki got to be 12 and 11, they would talk and train outside, being happy and carefree. Teenagehood was coming soon, and as they were 16 and 15, their relationship began to change. Thor spent more time with her friends, as Loki was getting into magic and learning new powers. Loki wanted to be with Thor, but it seemed like Thor didn't want to be with Loki anymore._

_Thor was putting on some makeup and Loki came into the room._

"_Hey Thor, wanna go to the café tonight? I heard there were cute boys." Loki said, knowing Thor wouldn't go._

"_Uhhh… I was going to be with my friends for a sleepover, sorry." Thor said, without emotion.'Damn, Loki is getting to be annoying!' Thor cursed in her head._

_Loki put her hands to her hips and looked pissed! "You're ALWAYS with friends, you never like to spend time with me anymore! What's up with that?"_

_Thor scoffed "You're always doing some weird magic and drowning yourself into being the best of your geekiness…"_

_Loki snapped and screamed "SHUT THE HELL UP you blonde whore! Go and be with your plastic friends, because I'd rather be alone than have a hundred plastic girls as my friends!" She stormed out and slammed Thor's bedroom door._

Now that Thor thought about it, she felt bad that she blew off Loki's invites. That was the start of their hatred towards one another, and Thor began to be stuck up and arrogant towards everyone she knew.

_As Thor and Loki become young adults, Thor still teases Loki for being different._

"_Hey little sis, gonna stop the tricks and geekiness?" Thor teased._

_Loki facepalmed and sighed "Never, but I'd like to see you actually not be a blonde ditz." She smirked._

_Awhile later, Thor is actually sad due to his stupid behavior towards Loki. Oh how she missed her youth where Loki was her best friend and sister, but now, they thought of each other as their enemy._

_Loki would play tricks on Thor and various people in the palace, most of them annoyed, but Thor would get irritated more and more._

_Loki would do cruel and bitchy stuff, like lie and steal. She knew deep down she was misunderstood, and she wanted to be good, but she wanted to prove herself worthy and goddesslike to the kingdom of Asguard. _

'_Damn Thor and all the cursed kingdom. They think a ditzy, whorelike of a princess can rule a kingdom like this? By Odin's beard, no! They want a queen who can rule with a benevolent iron fist! One day ALL the realms will BOW DOWN TO ME!' Loki boomed and stabbed her spear into the floor, to no one but herself._

'_Screw all of them', Loki thought.' SCREW ALL OF THEM!'_

'_But I always wanted to be Thor's equal…' she thought to herself and a tear began in her eye._

Thor shuddered as she thought of Loki's harsh words, since Loki told Thor herself when they fought violently. Thor by the time, missed her relationship with Loki, but one trick sent Thor over the edge.

_Loki came over to Thor, as the real Loki was hiding, and her duplicated self went up to Thor._

"_Sister, I am sorry for being so cruel over these years. You must feel the same way." Loki said, with tears forming in her eyes._

"_I feel the same way too. We are women now and we must not act like spoiled brats anymore." Thor finally waited for this epiphany to come._

"_Give me a hug big sister!" Loki cooed._

_As Thor leaned into Loki's embrace, Loki vanished into thin air and Thor fell right on her stomach. The real Loki emerged and she smiled and cackled._

"_Oh Thor, how you entertain me so! You think I'd forgive you for all these dammed years, but I'm not! How could you treat me like a bitch? You're stuck up and arrogant, ditzy blonde!" Loki sneered._

"_Well at least I'm not taking revenge for those who had wounded me!" Thor clenched her jaw and growled. "Loki you are a bitch!"_

_Loki smirked and coolly said "Why yes I am, I'm the God of Mischief!"_

"_Screw you Loki." Thor said lowly._

"_I'm glad to be a Frost Giant and not your blood sister." Loki smiled._

_At once, Thor's heart shattered and lost all faith in their relationship._

Thor was not the same person he was not awhile ago. A trip to Midguard and falling in love made him realize that there were more important things, and especially becoming an Avenger made him softer. Loki was lost, misunderstood, yet she didn't realize the harm she inflicted on others. It would be a long time before Loki came to her senses, but for now, Thor wanted Loki to be happy, to be accepted.

Time would have to tell…

_As four year old Loki and a five year old Thor were tucked into the same bed, they said one last thing before falling asleep._

"_Will you always love me Thor?" Loki said, snuggling closer to Thor._

_Thor smiled "Of course I will, no matter what. Always remember that. I love you Loki." She gave a kiss on Loki's cheek and a goodnight hug. Thor did the same._

"_I love you too Thor." Loki said and yawned, as the girls went to sleep a few minutes later._

Oh how Thor wouldn't feel that love again…

~Fin~

**A/N- Well guys, I hope this was a good read! I wrote this out of inspiration, and I hope I make new stories in the future! I'm a HUGE Loki fan, but the song made me think of Thor's memories and opinions on Loki. Team Loki FTW! :D **

**-rocker4321**


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